There is something about the addictive personality that baffles most people. They just cannot comprehend or conceive the behaviors exhibited by the addict. And of course, an alcoholic is an addict. It seems sophmoric to even have to offer that, but it is astounding how many people still do not consider alcohol a drug. I suggest you do some research if you are in doubt about this issue.

Addicts do not start out wishing and hoping to become addicted to drugs or alcohol. Never, have I met one who has. Thus, is the power of the addiction. It sneaks up on the individual and grabs them in myriad ways, and generally they are the last to make this discovery.

And much time usually elapses between the beginning and the end, if there is an end. And today, with the prevalence of methamphetamine, the onset of addiction is so rapid, it mystyfies most thinking people.

As a kid, I couldn't know that the Boatners, the family next door, would be wiped out by a drunk driver. There were about seven or eight in all. The mom and dad, a bunch of cub scouts, and an infant...sad affair it was.

Around the same time in my life, my brother Butch and I were playing at the local school on a Saturday. It was a nice day, and things were quiet. Suddenly, there came a long screech, followed by a long, long pause, a horrid crashing sound, then silence. We ran toward the sound. A big black sedan had come to land at the base of telephone pole after being airborne for some distance (explaining the pause). It was an awful sight. The lone occupant of the car, a male in a Tux, reeked of alcohol and was severely injured. I knew he wouldn't survive. The newspaper said he died the next day. I started thinking about his family members and others that would surely be affected by this tragedy.

I should tell you that at this time I was attending a Parochial School, (Catholic) and I hated it very much. It probably wouldnt have mattered if it was a public school, I would have hated that too. I was a very unhappy child. I am not sure why, but there was always a lot of fighting and bickering among the family I grew up with.

My dad and grandad were both Firefighters. My dad really liked beer. So did I. The old man had a lot of parties which included many of his buddies from work. Usually a keg or two was the norm. I liked these parties.

My dad also loved Dixieland Jazz music and introduced me to a number of musicians. He knew where all the good jazz musicians were playing and often took me along to the clubs. This is what I really wanted to do. Go to the clubs and have fun. I wanted to drink. I loved the taste of alcohol. My dad was a good old man except when he had too much to drink, which became more and more frequent as the years went by.However, after a near fatal heart attack, he contracted Diabetes and really cut back on his drinking, and eventually quit entirely.

I think it is important to mention how I discovered glue sniffing. I met a couple guys from out of the area who were visiting relatives, Larry and Olin. My newfound best friends. My dear old mom used to call it glue glopping. Whatever, for me it was an opiate. It was a tremendous high that I really loved. I sniffed glue every chance I got. And at that time if it were up to me, I would have sniffed glue for the rest of my life.

All I know is that I wasn't comfortable with myself. If I was loaded on something I felt much better and I could endure this difficult challenge called life.

In retrospect, it was remarkable how the friends I selected at that point in my life were very much like me. They wanted to do the same type of things I did. Little did I know how important that was at the time.

By that time, though, I had already discovered the wonders of alcohol. I watched what it did to my dad and his friends. I liked what it did for me. I found friends just like me who wanted to drink beer. One buddy had a dad who made Home Brew in coke bottles in his garage. Each bottle had about an inch of yeast in the bottom. Wow! That stuff would kick your ass! We snuck into his garage after school as often as we could.

I have yet to meet anyone who wrote a wish list hoping to become an alcoholic or a drug addict. Yet so many turn out to be just that. So many young people who grow up in an alcoholic environment, literally swear they will never be like that. The percentage of those who do, however, is astounding.

And at this point I am compelled to tell you that I started getting into trouble at an early age. I liked to ditch school any chance I got, but my parents simply didn't understand. I never could figure out what the hell was wrong with them. Old fashioned. They just didn't understand.

I was forced into Catholic school. My grades got progressively worse, and by the 8th grade, the nuns simply passed me to get rid of me I am sure. If they hadn't, they would have had to put up with another year of my bad attitude and behavior. It would by many long years before I realized how incredibly selfish I truely was.

I will fast forward a few years in order to not bore you with the sordid details.

In my life, for several decades, alcohol and drug abuse was the central focus from one end of the spectrum to the other. I often hear people say," I was a "Jack of all Trades." This fit me perfectly. I cannot remember all the jobs I had and lost, during my teens, twenties and thirties.

But, alcoholism is a progressive illness. And a good alcoholic does not recognize the severity of his disease in the early going. Let me rephrase that: potential alcoholics generally know deep inside that there is some kind of a problem with the drug. But oddly, they often defend errant behavior caused by drinking, and conveniently place the blame on something or someone else.

The profundity of it is, that the practicing alcoholic bolsters his belief system by believing he is right. And when challenged, he feels with certainty his personality is being attacked and his character persecuted. Over time, the inability to objectively examine his own behavior becomes more and more distorted and unrealistic. Add to this the phenomena of amnestic disorder, alcoholic black outs, which are unpredictable and quite dangerous, and it is an absolute recipe for a catostrophic conclusion.